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Sithwolf-07

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    Well it's been a while since I posted a journal of anything. I am now twenty years old, and life certainly held twists for me. I'm now a reborn Christian, my faith has been tested, checked and whipped to a certain degree. beforehand, before the Army and my injuries I didn't know the Lord nor his hopes for me. 
    I got injured during training, 11B, I have stress fractures in my knees and it's even difficult for me to walk up stairs without feeling some form of pain or discomfort. I've been writing a lot more, of my stresses and struggles and views of life and death. To be determined that I wish for something more, to serve in a way more capable because I refuse to believe that the Lord took me out just for me to do nothing. Yet again who am I to question the Lord's sovereignty. It takes a Godly mind to comprehend such an infinite scope of time and so like most I'm left confused and wondering however I must remain in faith of the Lord's work for me. 
    I still miss it sometimes. Though I'm currently at Indiana Wesleyan University going for a major in International Relations. I hope to serve more than just a peacekeeper and more of a peace maker. To still serve on military matters and affairs however not on the ground but in administrative positions and seats of power. To make a christian difference in a indifferent world. 
    My heart's been broken, my hope shattered and my resolved bent yet when I heard the Lord spoke to me on the forgiveness of my sins I heard "I've had already forgiven you, you must forgive yourself." and I knew I must move forward and keep trucking onward or else all I know would be darkness and wallowing in self-pity. 
    I miss the hold of a caring women or the kiss of a lover's lips yet here I stand unspoken for and unwilling to kneel to another's hand. I recognize that the time isn't right and the moment has passed by. Love for a partner is not to be found here or anywhere near and I feel as the Lord once said to Caleb, to "wait and see". 
    So that is me and my life and I hope yours have gone better. I hope you all will find your own happiness and pleasures and fulfill that ambitious dream of yours that makes even the most petite individual shine the brightest of lights. Please have a good restful night. 
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On my way

1 min read
Well I joined the army as if July 14th of this year :) Currently on my way to succeed my goals, my dreams. I'll be shipping out in July 17th of next year, little over month after I graduate from High School. Certainly fast how quickly time has gone by, and pretty soon I'll be there. I am happy and excited for this oppurtunity to become better than what I am, or so that's what I believe. Some people may see this as a fail-safe option if denied access to a college or university, an last ditch effort. But I already met people who support me, encourage me, and actually complimented and looked up to me, and that might just be my pride talking, but I still do believe being a soldier is still a honourable career.
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I have a certain admiration for soldiers. the ones who are sent to fight the wars and battles and protect us from much conflict. I honor any soldier who fights, even if they're on the wrong side, it's not their own fault to fight even if by choice, for something happened to create that conflict in the first place and that is just human nature, conflict. When a soldier fight, whether young or old, male or female, rich or poor. They sacrifice their lives to a cause that might even be injustice or wrong, but it's a cause that they believe and fight for with their lives, even sacrificing for their beliefs. Some fight against a political agenda, a government that is seizing their land, or defending a country that appears to them just or fair. Others fight for their families, their friends, and their loved ones that they may never see again, others even for money or power. the point is that people fight for many reasons, whether honorable or not. For a battlefield is a horror that not many of us could survive in, yet soldiers choose to face those horrors head on.
 
In a year and a half from this date, I'll be hopefully be on my way to Ranger school, a special training program in the U.S Army, by the 75th Ranger Regiment, a Special Ops Task Force. I have no idea whether or not I'll make it but I have the support of my family and friends so that's all I really need. My aunt asked me why I would want to endanger my life in the army, to risk of being killed? and you know what? I don't know.. I know that I might die, I'll meet my maker unexpectedly. My feelings are simple though. I feel that I have too, that it's Gods plan for me. I don't know how I know that or that even if my faith in god is that strong. I just know that is where my path leads to be.
 
The only trouble and real sacrifice a soldier makes is leaving his family, friends, and his loved ones behind, and the chance that they may never see each other again. The willpower, the strength and determination to take a man away from his family, knowing all the dangers, all the risks, and knowing that he might die, seems impossible to comprehend. which is exactly why I find such people admirable. To take the chance of leaving, to never seeing, to die. Even if there is a life after death, it's seems to me a big chance to take, a leap of faith of impossible heights. yet they do it anyway.
 
Which is the basic reason why I find being a soldier is such a brave and courageous thing to do. To sacrifice everything that you have for something that may be above and or higher than yourself. To do something that most people wouldn't do, to endanger oneself for something they believe in. No doubt they would want to live, but their courage takes in the instance of they're readiness to die to live another day, a contradiction. A soldier is ready to die at any given moment, but in all they do want to live. understands the risks and readily pay the price. That is something that I think we could all live up too.
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Well as Albert Camus once said " I know of only one duty, and that is to love". That right there lady's and gentleman, is my only one true feeling in my young and somewhat foolish life of mine. I hold great love to many things; I love to work, I love lady's, I love to fight, I love a good comedy/romance movie, I love my family, my friends, and generally any one who is nice to me. I believe that this world of ours holds great and beautiful potential, though we are not perfect (which does make things more exciting)  Though some day, I will travel this gigantic world of ours. 

My kind of art that I really enjoy (In my own terms) are digital art of nature, life, and various creatures, beautiful woman, bad ass people, emotional scenes from various anime's/manga's.(I'm bit of a wimp on that). I really do enjoy tons of literature, tons of favorites, I literally loved every book I have read. Such as Keys to the Kingdom, Artemis Fowl,  Magica Negima, Heir Series, basically anything magical, emotional, funny with a romantic comedy twist.  

As a person I know I am not perfect, I can be a bit immature, slow, I enjoy a good fight, I believe in the honor system somewhat. As in that If you're fair, I'm fair, if you cheat, I'll kick your butt, simple no? Though I do enjoy discussing on life philosophies such as Confucianism and Taoism, I am christian in the belief of god, though i don't exactly follow some christian beliefs. I just believe there's that guy upstairs, with heaven and hell with the archangels and such. I am quiet around people that I don't know, some call me shy, other's intimidating. I am serious in serious situations. though I do get easily excited (sadly). When I do I attain a British accent lol. I use to watch this British comedy show, about a cloth store and it's workers. 

My ethnic background is Hispanic male, though I have Spanish, Italian, German, Nordic blood inside of me. I wear Dark clothing, I believe in dressing well, and i have brown hair. light brown skin, and dark red brown eyes, I've told I look Asian Japanese to.  My Favorite Animal (Obviously) is the wolf. Known for their fierce and protective nature of their packs, I hold the same basic principals for my family and friends.  
 
 
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Random Tanka's

1 min read
Just some random 5 second poetry I wrote. please enjoy and comment :)

A Hero Sacrifice

A life in my hands
what should one do with a soul
replace it with mine?
life for a life is nature  
as there is spring and winter

A Sakura Eternity

rosy petal falls
silent in it's own beauty
yet unknown in time
for that light to shine in grace
there shall always be a spring

A Natural Tree

Long branches reaching
seemingly into the sky
trying to reach stars
rooted into the earth core
ancient and immortal soul

My image of a Lady

Her face is pleasant
containing warmth of mothers
jokes of a jester
independent as the fox
light as the eternal sky  

As Sun set Fall's

As low Light seeps down
The Darkness moves upward swift
Sun returning home
Moon visiting my small world
star's eternally shine bright
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Featured

Hey guys and update on my life. by Sithwolf-07, journal

On my way by Sithwolf-07, journal

Admiration for Soldiers by Sithwolf-07, journal

Just Me Mates :D by Sithwolf-07, journal

Random Tanka's by Sithwolf-07, journal